Why Being Stylish Doesn’t Mean You’re Vain

“You’re so vain, you probably think this blog post is about you.”

Inspired by the words of the famous lyrics from the Carly Simon’s song – today I’m discussing style and vanity.

As a personal fashion stylist, I often get accused of being vain, materialistic and promoting ego.

Obviously no one has said this directly to me – well so far – but thanks to the anonymity of social media, I do receive messages of this form.

Now this is not a negative post to identify any haters. Personally, I have learnt to be quite thick skinned and continue delivering the content I know my audience want to read.

However, this topic has prompted me to ensure that those of you who do care about fashion and style aren’t linking it to vanity.

Style, it’s a pretty word but in reality, I am teaching people to look after themselves and help propel them towards things that may have been holding them back with the power of fashion. Many of my clients suffer body image issues, low confidence or have just felt like they’ve lost themselves and are keen to combine a life change with a visual one.

Now of course fashion can be fluffy which is part of the fun of it really. However fashion can help people feel better about themselves. Almost in the same way a morning jog or an afternoon manicure can.

Fashion is also a form of creative expression, a way to tell your story to the world. Others may paint, write, design – I put clothes together for people in exactly the same way. Simple.

Now I know the industry looks saturated. The selfie generation, the Kardashians over-sharing their fashion wins (or mishaps) but I want you to think of the Kate Middleton’s of the world, the powerhouse that is now Victoria Beckham and her classic style and the elegance behind Vogue editor, Anna Wintour.

All of these ladies have found a style that suits their lifestyle, their personality and they wear it confidently.

Now sadly, some of the clients who are keen to find their style in this same way actually come to me in secret – afraid to tell their friends or family that they’ve invested in a stylist.

They fear judgement along the lines of;

1. “Wow, it would be nice to have her money to “splash” on a stylist!”
2. “She must have a lot of time on her hands.”
3. “Why is she so dressed up?”
4. “God, she is so vain!”

Yes, these comments are real and now you could understand why it might deter someone from even trying to looking stylish or attempting a fashion reinvention.

So let’s decipher these:

1. “Splashing” on a stylist. Well, it’s not Hollywood and I’m not Rachel Zoe charging retainers and working on red carpet events every week. I’m working with every day Australians in your favourite stores – teenagers, women professionals, mums and their husbands and many 50+ clients. It’s not Dior and Chanel (unless you want it to be), Everything will feel familiar and accessible.
2. Time poor? A stylist will initially take a few hours and then return that time ten-fold. A good stylist can help move a woman out of the “what to wear” rut and clean up the mountain full of “tried on” clothes on the bed that collate before heading out. And we all know how long that takes. Imagine a wardrobe where everything fits, everything suits you and there’s an endless mix and match. It’s possible.
3. Dressed up? Actually, the woman is wearing jeans and a knit but they fit her perfectly, and the colours complement her skin. She’s not dressed up, she is dressed for her body type and her lifestyle. That’s why she looks sooo good.
4. I will reiterate over and over that style is not vanity. Fashion does not equate to falsity and looking after yourself and dressing in a way that makes you feel good will change your life.

Your style could get you over the line in career progression; it can help keep your relationships fresh and above all, when done correctly, you will no longer see your “bits” be it large thighs, small breasts or wide hips – you will just be you and love it.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this issue. Have you ever been judged for your interest or investment in style or fashion? If so, how did you deal with it?

Your input could really help our readers. Or perhaps you’re on the other side of this conversation, thinking about making a style investment, but thinking it might be indulgent.

Let’s get a conversation going as I close off with one of my favourite quotes from my inspiration, Rachel Zoe: Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.