Personal Style: Why are we critical of others?
As you all know, I put out these blogs regularly with the idea they will reach the everyday woman in a real and down to earth way.
I do not own a clothing boutique, nor am I aligned with any clothing stores or receive any financial reimbursement for showcasing clothing products through my blogs.
My aim is to provide a virtual shopping experience for you, give you an idea of what’s out there and on trend, how to wear and hopefully inspire you in some way.
Now I realise that looks won’t appeal to everyone, that is normal and predicted!
The looks don’t always appeal to my personal style or body type either… and I am not a model!!
I am short, 5ft with lots of ‘bits’ wearing many clothes off the rack all within the 6 hours it takes to shoot – and I can tell you now, they often don’t fit!
It pains me greatly to see an imperfect outfit on myself; but I need to showcase many different options for you all not just those of my height, age, colour characteristics and body shape!
So you may have noticed we are bringing more women to the blog, not just myself to change things up a bit.
The volunteers we are bringing in will fill gaps in a variation of body shapes, styles and ages.
These everyday women are all different body shapes and sizes; generously volunteering their time and very nervous about being photographed!
Why haven’t we done this sooner?
Well, for the same reason we don’t post pictures of our clients or before or after shots.
We are fiercely protective of all women’s self-esteem and confidence, especially those who generously put their body on the line to help us out!
Sometimes… sadly more often than not… social media can bring out the not so kind comments that can do serious damage!
I don’t know what motivates such comments when negativity breeds negativity.
Perhaps there is a level of desensitisation due to there being no consequence to our comments that we see first hand?
While a negative comment may take 10 seconds to post and then forgotten, the pain caused by comments online is very real and lasting for those on the receiving end!
What I would love to see is more girl – female – women comradery towards each other.
Support of each other is such a beautiful thing and genuine respect for another human being for ‘giving it a go’.
In my Styling Academy, I heavily promote caring, supporting nurturing of each other.
To avoid judgement and criticism of each other.
Life is hard, why make it harder when all most of us are trying to do is our best!
Today’s blog is a rant, I know, but hopefully, a good one that gets the communication floodgates opening.
Would love to see some positive comments for our beautiful volunteers who are putting themselves out there and giving it a go for us all!
Be kind, be nice, support each other .. or maybe say nothing…
So now for the fashion!
As we talked about I am often showcasing the in-store trends, but today’s blog is so personal to me, that I thought I would give you an inside look into my very own wardrobe and pieces I love to wear!
Would love to hear your thoughts on today’s blog.
Cindy x
Well said, Cindy
Thanks Sheridan x
So beautifully said Cindy and I agree with you 110%! We are what we are and should love each other and ourselves. Oh, and you look absolutely gorgeous, as always! Xox
Thanks Krissy! x
Hear hear!!! Well said, Cindy!
Thanks Rachel x
I absolutely agree Cindy. I think though, that those that criticise do so because they don’t like they way the look and put others down to make themselves feel better – only it doesn’t work. It’s interesting that Europeans and South Americans are far more accepting of their “bits”. Go to any beach in those regions and you will see women of all shapes and sizes and there’s no effort to cover up. Fantastic to see. They seem to be so much more confident and accepting of themselves. PS you look amazing in these photos. Can you tell us the brands please?
Thanks Louise! Most of the outfits I am wearing in these shots are quite recent designs I had made in Vietnam from my two trips I’ve just done. They can be replicated though through the stores as that’s where I got my initial inspiration from 🙂 xxx
Well said Cindy. I find it quite frustrating when I see/hear women tearing other women apart simply because of the way they look or dress. Be the change that we want to see in the world – someone famous said that once – and it’s so true. We are all different – let’s celebrate that and focus on sharing a kind word – change the world one positive conversation at a time!
Well said to you right back!!! xxx
Very well said and agree with you 🙂 well done Cindy and team
Thanks Marie x
Thanks Cindy, some welcome words of wisdom & comfort as always xx I personally, as I’m sure many do, resonate with this topic unfortunately. I have for found myself on the receiving end of many a backhanded remark over the years because I choose to make an effort in my appearance but not only that just get blantantly judged on a perception one has of you based on looks alone. It does impact you negatively as much as you try and shrug it off. I’ve found myself not even wanting to be social because of it.
Wow Simone!!!! I wish people would just stop Judging others full stop!!!!!! xo
Good on you Cindy!
I often agonise over why women pull each other down, when we would all be so much more empowered if we stood tall together.
It should be a “sisterhood” walking elbow to elbow supporting and cheering each other on. We should be congratulatory to all women trying for self improvement and giving them an enormous pat on the back.
I hope your blog gets people thinking and taking action
A smile and a compliment go a long way.
Love
Nikki
Thanks Nikki! It should be a sisterhood……but it’s not! Too easy to say that’s terrible and not realise the impact on another person and their self esteem especially as that person has put themselves out there with great intentions. So sad….. xox
So agree with your comments Cindy.
I think also we should be honest with ourselves. Take the time to try things on and look in the mirror whether out shopping or doing a spring clean at home. If it makes you feel good keep it if not leave it.
Well said Christine!!!! xox
People put others down because they think it will make them look and feel good, and a lot of the time they think it gives them power. It isn’t only with what people wear – it is in lots of facets of life. If no-one did it the world would be a much better place with not as much violence and abuse. If people would “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” none of this would happen.
WELL SAID!!!!!! So lets all just be nice! xox
Couldn’t agree more Cindy. In our Social Media age too many people are too quick to criticize. Sometimes constructive criticism can be helpful – destructive criticism never is. None of us is ever perfect; and I assume you you do not bother to photo shop your images – which is what is done to professionally modeled shots. I am glad you too have “bits” – nice to know you are human! My bits are gooshy – and I have reached the age where I hold my head up high anyway! Keep up the great work and the fabulous fashion advice! Love it!
Deb that’s made me tear up! It’s a choice for myself and my volunteers to be photographed just to let women know what’s out there. We do bits to improve the image where we can, however none of us are models, we all have bits and we also try hard to keep it real! We try our best, a negative comment simply hurts……that’s all. So why even comment……don’t like…….move on! xox
Love the blog Cindy! And I must say you’re looking great.
To the ladies volunteering – can’t wait to see the images. You are way braver than I. It’s time we all embrace the beauty that is within us.
Though at times I’ve posted pics of myself on social media, now in my mid fourties and battling an early onset of menopause my body has certainly changed from the taut and terrific size size 6 I once was. I exercise way less than I did previously and now to me if it’s a toss up between going to the gym or having some much deserved and needed quiet time on the lounge, it’s generally the latter I choose.
So thank you for sharing Cindy. Since the day I did your courses I admired your sense of style and passion. But more so the authenticity with which you showcase YOU!
Can’t wait to see you lovely ladies show us some STYLE.
Angela that makes me quite emotional! Thank you!! It does get harder as we age, that glass of wine looks great as does our comfy couch 🙂 Be comfy and be you!!!! xox
Great Blog, great message, great style love your Real ness and endless empathy for others.
A non judgemental to others is the first real attribute every stylist should possess.
Love
Karen
Well said Karen!!! Girl power……lets go! 🙂 xox
Well said Cindy, I so so agree with you.
I feel that life is hard enough in our everyday challenges, women should be supporting each other. Sadly not the opposite.
Thank you for your post.
I love reading them. ❤️
Thanks so much Sonia! Life is not always easy, a smile and a compliment cost nothing!! xox
Great post, Cindy. Although such a shame it had to be said.
I know Bec:( So lets all be the opposite and be nice to each other, say nice things!!! xox
Cindy your a breath of fresh air and you don’t have a bad bone in your body. I’ve completed 2 course with you and you encourage all of your students to only see the good in people and that everyone has their own personal style. Not long ago I was exposed to a negative msg on Instagram and have since come off it as a result. Thank you for posting this blog it gives me hope. The sisterhood needs to stick together and support the great things that women are doing x
Nicole…….get back out there!!!!! Tell them to go away and focus on all those that love and support you. Sending a hug! xox
Hi Cindy, I have been following you for 10 years and will follow you and your girls forever. I don’t care if you are young, old, skinny, blobby, whatever. You celebrate the fun and enjoyment of dressing up and transforming looks. The smiles on you and your models show how much fun you are having, and you take us along with you. Don’t let the few sad people out there take that away from you and from all of us who love what you do.
OK………crying now! Not much else to say. Thank you xox
I love seeing you model the clothes – much more relevant to me than a 13 year old boy/girl! Yes, I know some are not what you would choose to wear, but it’s great to see the clothes that might suit me (the absolute opposite in colouring, body shape and height, but we do share ‘bits’!!) I admire you for doing it anyway!
I think it’s a great idea to have other women of all ages , sizes and shapes model the clothes. Good on them for volunteering; I hope they grow in confidence as I know you will give them every encouragement 🙂
I love your blogs, and while I rarely comment, yours is one of the few emails and blogs that I do read all the way through.
I know it’s almost impossible, but please try to ignore the nasty comments – or at least don’t take them personally.
Keep up your great work, you are an inspiration.
Lesley such a lovely message thank you so much x I am so glad you love reading the blog and seeing real bodies with lots of bits!
I do find myself impacted by the not so positive comments… but I am only human… I am spreading the positive message as far and wide as I can to combat this!!
Thank you Lesley xoxo
Hi Cindy
Sometimes we just need a little reminder to be more proactive with our support of other women. I won’t post anything negative but at the same time don’t post enough positive things. My commitment from now till the end of the year is to post a supportive comment to a women putting herself out there. Would be great to see all of your followers do the same thing and perhaps we can drown out the negativity.
Hats off to you for addressing it. I imagine you see too much negativity in how women see themselves and if we can support and lift, like a good bra, it might make all the difference to their self esteem.
Astrid – this is so fabulous! I love your positivity pledge! Let’s all be bras! 🙂 🙂
It breaks my heart the negative self-talk and pain women feel over their bodies & bits… but we can all band together to make change!
Girl Power! xoxo
Your post bought tears to my eyes Cindy. I think your post is a reminder that negativity can hurt others. Respect is the key, which you referred to Cindy. If one is respectful in their approach and opinion, what an amazing and wonderful world we would live in. When commenting on social media, being respectful is always on my agenda and ultimately social media came about by the idea of connecting people….in a positive way. So let’s be positive!! Like many others, I too love your blog Cindy. I get very excited when it comes up on my news feed. I read it immediately and especially love all the beautiful photo’s showcasing fashion, styling tips and encouragement to embrace our bodies and personal style. I truly appreciate the time and effort given to your posts by yourself and all the team at Style with Cindy.
Learning to be respectful can change your life, strengthen your relationships, make a difference and help you reach amazing goals. Your words reminded me of just how powerful respect can be.
Please keep up your amazing work.!!!!!! Love Love Love Renea xxxxxxxxx P.S You helped changed my life.
Oh Renea, I’m so tearful reading this beautiful message x
So true… social media was invented to connect but somehow many have misused the privilege of connection with the world…
I am so pleased you love our blog and for thanking our team… we all pour our heart and soul into the blog to hopefully inspire & encourage.
Love Love Love Cindy xxxxxxxxx
So True and we’ll said. I loooove your wardrobe 👌✖️🌸💕
Jackie thank you – much loooove to you!
Cindy x
Love your ideas and “bits” and then showing us how to draw less attention to them! Your blog is inspirational and heartfelt, Cindy, keep it coming and let’s feel that comradery!
:):) Thanks so much Rachel!! :):) Glad you enjoy our blogs!! xox
I’ve done a course with you, 4 years ago, and found it informative, practical as well as inspiring. I still carry my colour swatches in my bag when clothes shopping and I follow the suggestions you have made. I love your blogs…I find them interesting and empowering. I don’t comment much but I take it all in. I see so many women out and about, of all shapes and sizes and regardless of whether I know them or not, I will always go out of my way to compliment a fabulously presented woman…because it takes a great amount of effort to put an outfit together….Sometimes a woman’s outfit that I compliment them on is ecclectic….put together from vintage stores, it’s not always ‘ high end’. We should all take the time to acknowledge and appreciate each other’s efforts. I look forward to seeing any strong inverted triangle style suggestions in your future posts.
Thanks so much Susan and great to hear that you are so supportive of other Women!! xo
Great comments Cindy! Most people who are critical of others (bullies) have very low self esteem, so they put other people down to feel better about themselves. They then start a downward spiral of self loathing because they receive negativity from other people. I always compliment someone if they look stylish! Positivity spreads positivity!!
Hear hear Kate! Thanks so much!! 🙂 xo